Am I making a big deal of things or is this mental abuse???
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Mrs M
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 2:10 am Post subject: |
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| You sound deeply unhappy about the whole situation, and very stressed. Do you still love your husband, or do you stay because you think you should? Do YOU want to work things out? I do not condone divorce, but I admit that sometimes there is no other way. Have you tried getting him to counselling? I know talking is often hard if one partner thinks they do not have a problem and that there is nothing to talk about, but have you told him, on a day where the 2 of you are in a good mood and can actually talk normally, that you are not happy with the way things are? Yes, what he is doing is emotional abuse, but what are his reasons for it? and does he want to keep you in his life? because if he does he needs to show that he really cares about you, cares about your happiness and is willing to change. If you can not get anywhere at all with him I suggest getting yourself legal advise to take things further. |
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Mary Contrary
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 2:24 am Post subject: |
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| It's counselling time for you. Tell him that you're not happy with his attitude and that if he refuses to work on it there's divorce in the horizon. |
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diquarry
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 2:33 am Post subject: |
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| i'd say he's abusing you. you've obviously had enough, now you need someone to tell you it's ok to go! been there, got the t-shirt etc! you must do what's right for you & the kids & he's certainly not setting them a very good example. i'll probably make myself very unpopular, but i really believe his smoking habits don't help. "weed" has been proved to change personalities etc after long-term use. it may not always lead to anything stronger, but it does enough damage on its own. i'd say, see a solicitor ASAP & start divorce proceedings. he may not respect a restraining order, but he's in for one hell of a shock if he does break one! you need to protect the kids from him; he's abusing them too. find a good solicitor & if you're not happy with that one, find another. you & the kids need protecting & he needs to learn love & respect. good luck, hun. diane. |
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capandy
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 4:42 am Post subject: |
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| No, you are not overreacting and yes, this is definitely abuse. Your husband is a control freak and a verbal abuser. His anger and 'mind-games' will only escalate as he attempts to beat down your self esteem and dominate you and the kids. Violence? An eventual possibility, especially if he feels his verbal abuse is no longer properly intimidating you. Get out, get somewhere safe and get therapy for you and your kids - you to learn why you've allowed yourself to be treated so cruelly, your kids to learn that such treatment and behavior is unacceptable. Don't wait! Children of abusive parents often marry abusive spouses or grow up to become abusers themselves. |
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sally s
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 6:29 am Post subject: |
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| This sounds serious. to be honest he sounds like a control freak. Have you ever read about 'obsessive personality disorder'.. it sounds like this to me. If you bring it to his attention does he get annoyed and blame everybody but himself? does he think you are all against him? classic symptoms. Its difficult to get someone like this to admit they have a problem. Try marriage guidance so he can see his problem, if he refuses to help himself you dont have to continue taking this abuse. You are worth as much as he is. Live your life and enjoy yourself. looking after others is important but you are important too. All the best x x |
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myenzo
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 9:05 am Post subject: |
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| So the kids are not his the Auntie is not his ,he is looking for away out ( and so would I ) |
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