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Nicholas B Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:41 am Post subject: My wife puts sex off? |
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| I have been married for two years now, for the most part we are happy, but i have noticed lately she puts having sex with me off. She usually says eshe is tired we will have sex tomorrow, or my back hurts we will tomorrow. When tomorrow comes she won't even say anything, she usually tells me to get in bed and she will be in there in a minute. she will stay out in the livingroom until i go to sleep. I have even started giving her gifts, flowers, mini vacations, and basically anything she wants. she just spent a small fortune a victorias secret, when she got the stuff she ordered I joked why don't you go try it on, let me see, she says I will wear it tomorrow tomorrow when we go out. I know this sounds really bad, but for some reason and i do not know how it got this way, but it is like we are roomates, or good friends, I like my wife being a friend, but how do I get it back to her being my lover..... It is killing me. |
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Sookmewoodmon W Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:44 am Post subject: |
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| while in bed, take matters into your own hands.. masturbate on her |
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blueberry Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:45 am Post subject: |
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| you're marriage is over |
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shortmama7j Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:46 am Post subject: |
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| Maybe shse is having some kind of "woman problem" like it hurts or something, she may need to see her gyno. |
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Charlie J Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:47 am Post subject: |
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| Womens hormones are different to mens. Men generally want it all the time, whereas women not. Get use to it. At least when you do have it, it is more special. Dont let it mess up your relationship, Im sure there are other things to do that you enjoy together. If you really love each other you will one day overcome this. If you persue her too much she will think you only married her for sex. Think wisely |
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linziegtheobald Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:50 am Post subject: |
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| I think you should just talk to her and ask what the problem is. She if she is okay or if she is just going through something. |
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Rebecca W Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:51 am Post subject: |
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| Well, recognize that this is sort of a normal pattern, especially if there have been any kids. But that doesn't mean you should settle for it. Tell her this has become a real problem. Point out the pattern, and tell her that sex nurtures a relationship and it's very important. Also tell her a lot of things about how beautiful she is to you and how much you desire her and other romantic stuff. Don't be mad about it, just explain that this is an important thing and you want to bring the lovemaking back. |
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summertaylor Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:56 am Post subject: |
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| what about you?...are you exciting to her?....gifts are nice...but sexual attraction is just that...a attraction...it also matters how you treat your wife...how she feels towards you.......ask her how you can be what she wants...may sound...hard to say....but sex is a normal feeling....and want...and you know...if something is sexy enough or wanted enough....like anything...people will try to get more of it...so also just look at it from her viewpoint....what does she see when she looks and is around you....(be the dream lover she really wants and I am sure you will be the one complaining to her that it is you who is too tired or has to have a rest...wouldn't that be great...to have your wife after you all the time for sex?) |
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Rey Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:56 am Post subject: |
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| Good Luck! |
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FooC Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 8:10 am Post subject: |
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| this happened to me too... after 4 years of the same, i decided that instead of putting up with a bad sex life, i would find someone else to fill that void... now, my wife is happy cause she doesnt have to have sex anymore and i am happy cause i get hummers whenever i want. this has been going on for almost 5 years now and neither my wife nor girlfriend have complained! |
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goodnaturedguy33 Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 8:12 am Post subject: |
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| It's my personal opinion that, from the man's point of view, this is the number one reason for a failed marriage. Men need sex, it's a biological need and when it gets radically rationed it causes all kinds of stress in the man and results in all kinds of problems in the relationship.Even in a crummy marriage, if the sex is there, usually the guy stays because he's bonded and he cares for her ect. This then gets women thinking, men only care for them for that one reason and this is not true. Men care for their mates and will tolerate a lot of impefections in her they know they have a whole bunch of imperfections themselves but sex is a biological priority, it has to be there for him to be healthy and it has to be sex he wants. It has to followed up with a comment for the ladies. Women have their needs too and her mate has to provide those unselfishly. This post is not intended to state marriage is a one way street that's all about the woman slaving to make her husband happy. |
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Mathie Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 8:14 am Post subject: |
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| She could be embarrassed about something. Some women put off sex if they feel they are putting on weight, are getting older, are losing their looks, if sex hurts or if they aren't in the mood because their hormones aren't what they used to be. Talk to her about it. Tell her you miss her and being intimate with her. Tell her you want to share those close moments with her and miss being with her. Ask her if there is anything you can do to make her want to be with you. Ask her if there's a particular reason that she puts off sex. She may just not be feeling as beautiful and with some women, a new pair of panties just isn't going to help. She may have a hormone problem or it may hurt to have sex. Also, don't buy her gifts and expect sex. You should buy her things because you love her. Tell her you love her and you think she's beautiful. You should be doing sweet things for her because you love her and not because you're expecting a reward of sex. I do nice things for my husband just because I love him and he does nice things for me because he loves me. Sex is a separate thing. We love sex (I have a high drive) but we don't barter with each other for sex. |
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Neela Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 9:05 am Post subject: |
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| Maybe something is wrong. If shes just going straight to the bedroom after coming home, I think somethings up. Since youve been paying special attention to her, Im not sure if youre the problem. Find out whats bothering her, it sounds like a fear of intimacy or she sounds depressed. Talk to her about it, but let her explain, dont pressure her to have sex with you. Shes obviously not comfortable anymore |
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Dawn X Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Jun 01, 2008 9:31 am Post subject: |
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| Just out of curiosity, how long does she "put it off" for? Are you having sex weekly? Bi-weekly? If you guys are having sex at least once a week, it doesn't really seem like you have a problem, It just seems that you have a higher sex drive than her, which is neither of your faults.Personally, if my husband keeps bugging me for sex, I will put it off too, because it's annoying! How can you get in the mood when someone is constantly asking you for sex? It sounds like you are a good guy, and you are trying to make your wife happy. My suggestion is, keep doing these nice things for her, but STOP asking her for sex. When she sees that you have stopped badgering her, I bet that she will actually *want* to have sex with you, and not just do it as an obligation.Good luck. |
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John Yahoo User
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Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:48 am Post subject: |
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| Ask her about it. If she won't do anything to fix it then get use to your hand. It does suck when there is the promise of tomorrow and it never happens. You need to get in her head and find out what is turning her off. |
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