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Mean Carleen
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 6:18 am Post subject: |
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| Some guys are more attentive / emotional than others. Doesn't mean they are wrong...its just how they are wired. It seems he has always been this way so yeah you should be used to it. He did acknowledge your accomplishment..just not the way you wanted him to. That is the difference between the two of you. Just think...some woman didn't even get the acknowledgment you got. |
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Instruisto
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 6:19 am Post subject: |
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| You chose this when you chose him. Perhaps he was a little more expressive when you were dating. Cards, etc. probably don't mean much to him so he does not get how much they mean to you.Don't expect him to read your mind. Tell him exactly what you want him to do. Only then can you fairly blame him if he fails to fulfill your needs.He cannot read your mind. |
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kelv1969
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 6:20 am Post subject: |
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| Sounds like he's gone off you a little. I don't know how long you've been married. He might be having an affair or has become just plain bored with you. You need to pep things up a bit. Try to excite him. Buy some sexy lengerie, suggest a weekend away. But ultimately if this doesn't work you will need to suggest a marriage guidance counsellor. Hope you work things out. |
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ukmaninmalta
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 6:20 am Post subject: |
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| I think a lot of men are a bit this way. It is all so commercial all these things are only there to make money from. The important thing he did say something and said how proud of you he was. Sorry but life is a bit like that |
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Phoenix
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 6:22 am Post subject: |
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| Obviously you must have loved him in order to marry him. You already accept him of who he is. I understand it's hard when you see your friends received gifts from their love ones. Maybe you should mention it to him. I know it's not about the presents, it's about someone you love and care recognizing your accomplishment. It wouldn't be fun if you have to mention that you love to receive gifts from him when you do something. It won't have the same meaning if he gets you the gift if you have to ask for it. Try to find something else that he does that means so much to you like make a cup of coffee for you in the morning... simple things that ordinary people don't do for each other. No, you're not a selfish person. When we love someone, we like it when the person we love think of us even just a little thing. I think that's normal the way to think. That's why when my boyfriend does a little thing for me. I treasure and appreciate it very much. We live far away from each other and he called me every morning just to wake me up so I can take a walk..I think that's so nice.. feeling that he's right beside me.. |
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Kate R
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 6:24 am Post subject: |
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| Marriage is about accepting your "other half", not trying to change them. Many men are not demonstrative or as empathetic as women. You must have realised this before you married him???!!!Who cares about materialistic things like Valentines presents when from what you say he is a great husband?I think you are jeopardising your good relationship by focussing on what you feel are his bad points. Focus on the good things instead and let his "faults" pass if they are really so minor as this.Just because it's something you would make a fuss over doesn't mean it's something he would. We are all different. |
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fastplayer37
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 6:36 am Post subject: |
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| most men arent emotional. The ones that are emotional are usually the feminine types we arent attracted to or very odd. Its rare to find a great guy with emotions....good luck! There are diff't types of unemotional guys: the nice ones and the mean ones. Also, most men tend not to react and like to think logically. Thats why they appear "emotionless". I was married years back (now divorced) to a man who was very unemotional and was very unaffectionate and hated to be carassed or touched. Its sucked!! He was pretty cold alright. Now im with a guy who is wonderful like yours and is very unemotional. Doesnt jump for joy when he is excited nor does he show emotions of fear or worry. He stays calm and cool. I know he loves me but like you, doesnt buy me many gifts and sometimes i feel bad too. He shows his love in dift't ways and i have to keep telling myself that. There is this book and it talks about diff't ways that people "love". You have to find out wht type of "love" pattern he has. Mine likes to fix things for me, get me food or help me with my son, or repair things, etc...He shows his love by doing things for me. But to buy a piece of jewlery or buy flowers on mothers day or buy roses on valentines day, forget it!! It sucks i know but i also know from experience that i would rather have a guy who cares about me and shows it in many other ways. I dated a guy once for 2.5 years who bought me all kinds of stuff and gave me money. Turned out he was a porn addict and was cheating. Another guy I dated for about 6 months bought me jewlery, royal daulton dolls only to find out he was broker than broke! It wouldnt hurt though for our men to go out of their way and buy us something b/c as women its a sign of love to us. Perhaps he is frugile? Mine is. I found that out after i got pregnant that my man is cheap on alot of things. he pays for our dates and all that and pays for our trips but is cheap on all kinds of other stuff. Men have their own way of doing things that us women cant really and will never figure out just like they cant figure us out. The only think i can say is to talk to him and tell him what you like and how important it is to feels special on certain occasions. He probably has no clue on how you feel or what you like or is important to you materialistically. I bet if you tell him, he will make an effort. If not, then you will have to accept him the way he is or date other guys. Im sure that he's just plain out of tune and needs a wake up call like most guys. They really are clueless when it comes to us girls. I hope this helped. |
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Dr. Q
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 10:12 am Post subject: |
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| Well, judging from your statements that he is normally very loving and that other holidays are great, I wouldn't say that he is unemotional. I think he is just having a hard time with this particular event. He may feel that your educational progress is a threat to your relationship. I had the same problem with my husband when I graduated. I never concluded WHY exactly it was happening, but I got some good suggestions here.Take a look:http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aq3WSAFlPWkHA4ewWpeH3_vty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080207125553AAH8M5M |
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