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engagement party $$$?


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M W
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:05 pm Post subject: engagement party $$$?

my brothers engagement party is this weekend. my husband and I dont have a lot of money and I dont want to sound cheap but I think $50 or $40 is our maximum to spend. Considering my brother dissed my for my bday and didnt even get me a card but he got his fiancees mom some expensive bottle of wine I know he is my brother but my husband and I are struggling to save money (we got married last year) . what should I do my mom is pressuring me to get a new outfit for the party and some $120 gift. I cant afford it nor do I want to spend that much. Am I being cheap??????

nova_queen_28
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:10 pm Post subject:

You aren't being cheap. And you might want to educate your mom and fill her in that an engagement party is not a gift-giving occassion!You should get him a lovely card and wish him the best, but you don't have to give a gift for this party.

Dana D
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:10 pm Post subject:

No, as with any gift, you should only give what you can afford and/or are comfortable with.

j_e_n_t86
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:13 pm Post subject:

No your not being cheap... an engagement party is not for getting gifts, I am sure they will be thankful for anything at all.. save the 50 bucks to add to the actual wedding gift. I am sure now he knows how you feel he is probably starting to realize how much a wedding is going to cost and is probably already pinching pennies

MrsT523
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:15 pm Post subject:

You most certainly are not being cheap! It's the thought that counts not the amount of money you spend.

Elizabeth
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:16 pm Post subject:

An engagement party is not for gifts! Give a congratulatory card. You will be giving gifts later (bridal shower, wedding gift) and one is not required for this!http://en.allexperts.com/q/Social-Etiquette-Good-2570/Engagement-party-gift.htm

AC
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:17 pm Post subject:

No. You are not being cheap. Since you got married last year, I am sure you have several nice outfits that you bought for your showers, etc that you can wear to his party. Also.. there are some wonderful gifts out there that can be less than $50. You can get something sentimental.. like an engraved frame or maybe engraved cake cutter.. from "things remembered" for about $40. http://www.thingsremembered.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Department_10001_9951_3008_3008_-1Or.. at David's Bridal.. they have these plates you can buy that people can sign. And once it is signed, you bake it and they keep it forever. I got that for my brother and they loved it. They have it up in their living room. And I think it was only about $45. It was unique and thoughtful.. and didn't cost $125.

christy15
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:33 pm Post subject:

no way not at all. you know it is the thought that matters. you can really find something really especial and nice for them that is under 50 dollars. how about you buy them a very beautiful picture frame with a picture of both of them( if you have one). i did that for my brother and he really loved it and i only spent like 35 dollars. Now if your mom is pressuring you to buy them a gift card and wants you to buy a new outfit then simply ask her to give you some money so you can do that.

lvchgo
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:37 pm Post subject:

Listen Sweetie, An engagement party is a event to celebrate that one is getting married. The etiquette for an engagement party, one should not expect any gifts. Its a time to share with relatives and socialize. You are not being cheap at all, a beautiful greeting card should be enough or max $25-50 bucks, if you want. I just had a engagement party a month ago and it was so nice to be with family and friend talking and enjoying the moment. So do not feel forced and if your brother makes you feel bad just tell him the truth and ignore it.

My Three
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:45 pm Post subject:

you don't have to take a gift to the engagement party unless you want to the gifts start coming on the showers and on the wedding. Now if they are insisting on it you tell her this is what I can afford period but I never heard of taking a gift to the engagement party.

Lydia
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 3:46 pm Post subject:

You don't need to take a gift to an engagement party; the gifts are for the shower and wedding. Take a lovely card, and maybe ask if they want you to help out with baking or something.

Lori M
Yahoo User

Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:27 am Post subject:

No, you're not being cheap. You should never feel obligated to buy someone a gift if you don't want to or don't have the money to. I don't think engagement parties should be about gifts. My fiance and I are having one because his dad offered to throw the party for us. We had talked about having one ourselves before his dad offered, but I really didn't want to do it because I know that some people will feel like they have to give us a gift. Maybe your brother and future sister-in-law feel the same way. Anyway, it's not like they're going to come up to you and ask why you didn't buy them a present. Also keep in mind... Did your brother buy you a present for your engagement?As for your mom... find a way to nicely tell her to worry about her own gift-giving habits. She shouldn't be pressuring you to spend money that you don't have.You could always save that money you would be spending on the engagement present to buy them a nicer wedding present.

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