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Shouldn't step son say "Thank you" for graduation party & gifts recieved?


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candygirl
Yahoo User

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 11:05 pm Post subject: Shouldn't step son say "Thank you" for graduation party & gifts recieved?

Am I expecting to much for a simple "Thank you" ? Today was my Step Son's graduation party. He never said Thank you for his party or gift from his dad and I. At the end of his party he opened his cards/ gifts. I didn't hear him say Thank you to anyone. Isn't that rude or is it just me over reacting? Heck I always say thank you for anything I get in life regardless of what it is even if it's a piece of gum. Is it just the generation I grew up in or he maybe wasn't taught to be respectful or is it with most kids these days or just simply no excuse or am I over reacting? I didn't say anything about it to anyone besides my husband. I'm just curious about other people's opinions about this.I will definately make sure he sends out Thank you cards to everyone. His mom & step dad also helped out with the party. I wonder if he even told them "Thank you" however his mom did tell me Thank you! My husband is very appreciative of anything & everything he gets in life and so are our younger 2 children, because we always have taught them to be thankful and appreciative for what they have & what they get. I thought maybe it was the way my step son was raised just to take and not appreciate, but yet his mom said thank you.

mulderino2002
Yahoo User

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 11:14 pm Post subject:

It really is a bit rude not to give at least a thank you, maybe even an I love you. But, it also depends on how close you two are. You could bring it up with your step-son if it's really bothering you.

Blossomo
Yahoo User

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 11:15 pm Post subject:

You and your husband are going to make him sit down and write thank you notes to ALL the generous friends and relatives who gave him gifts, right? If not, then it probably shouldn't be a huge surprise that he is doesn't know any better. Present him with a box of "thank you" cards from Hallmark, a roll of stamps, and the addresses of everyone who gave him gifts. If you want him to learn the lesson, it's not too late.

g3o4ce
Yahoo User

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 11:16 pm Post subject:

kids these days are stupid and dont have manners. u should nicely try to train your son to correct his behavior.

duaernil
Yahoo User

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 11:18 pm Post subject:

It seems he is a bit lacking in the appreciation department. I think this should be a father son discussion. Since he is your step son I don't know how well of a relationship you have with him. If you two have a good relation then you can sit in on the discussion. However I still say it should be father and son.

Katie R
Yahoo User

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 11:18 pm Post subject:

ohhhhh that would have pissed me off to.I honestly think kids are just becoming very disrespectful. I dunno your step son so he could possibly just be a typically shy person and maybe all the attention left him speechless. He may not even realize you feel this way. You should bring up his graduation at a more comfortable moment just say did you enjoy your graduation party. and if he says yes it was very nice. or something in that varition even if it isnt a direct thank you at least you know he appreciated the thought. Point is guys are stupid no mater what age.

straycat
Yahoo User

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 11:18 pm Post subject:

He was rude....so what can you do? His Dad and his mother have been responsible for "training" him in the manner department...and either they didn't do a good job-or he was just being rude....next time he asks for something-say "no"...and explain your feelings to him. It looks like you are the only one who cares enough to teach him some manners...too bad. He may just have to learn the old "hard way."

latj
Yahoo User

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 11:20 pm Post subject:

No you are definitely not over reacting. He was rude and in fact out of place. My question to you is "What did Dad do to handle the situation"? I am hoping that Dad took it upon himself to at least talk to the boy about the way he acted and how selfish he was because if he doesn't his behavior will only get worse. I don't believe this crud about "it;s just how kids are today" because mine don't act like that at all. He is trying to push his limits and now is the time for limits to be set or it will get worse and he will start disrespecting the both of you more. The boy owes you an apology and a "Thank You"!!!. Good luck!!!Peace & Love

Goblin g
Yahoo User

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 11:29 pm Post subject:

Regardless of who the party is for and who gave the party, the person for whom the party was for SHOULD ALWAYS say "thank you" to each and every person who came to their party and made it the success that it was.Apparently your Stepson has not been taught proper manners. I think that I would take that extra step and say outloud, to myself, in your Stepson's presence "thank you (your name) and Dad for my party. I really do appreciate it and enjoyed it". Hopefully your Stepson will be embarrassed and see the error of his ways.And in reference to your question of "am I over reacting" - the answer is: NO, you are NOT over reacting!Have a lovely rest of the evening.

stef
Yahoo User

Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 11:37 pm Post subject:

I am a step Mum and I think you are totally right. The problem is handling the situation without causing a frenzy in the household. Parents never like their children criticized so if you intervene you could have problems with your husband but then if your husband wants to be the "good guy" and indulge his child he is doing the boy a dis-service. My step children (their mother died) have grown into lovely young adults so maybe in time your step-son will come to understand the ways of the adult world better. So much really depends on how you have all arrived at this stage in your lives, how much your husband expects you to take the lead on family matters and if you have any Grandparents in the background who could be enlisted to help in this matter.Good luck with whatever course of action you decide to take.

outsider
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 1:49 am Post subject:

yeah he's rude...but aren't all kids that age.

nmyankee
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 2:57 am Post subject:

Of course you're not over-reacting - the majority of young people seem to believe they deserve gifts without putting any, socially, reciprocal effort into it. Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt would be dirt poor in the America of today. It isn't up to you to make sure he sends out the appropriate thank-you notes - let your husband know this is his department to handle and that you expect your thank-you note within ten days. His mother owes you a thank-you note, also, for giving a party for her son - a verbal thank-you isn't sufficient for the expense and effort.Christmas gifts to your step-son should be one-dimensional - please, see links.

Mister
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 4:12 am Post subject:

Maybe he don't like you to begin with?

nikita
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:01 am Post subject:

You should say it to him. Write him a note or sms to him. Never allow rudeness to go unmentioned. If you as parents don't "teach" him, who else would?Say "dear so and so, we have yet to receive a thank you from you for the party and gifts we gave you. We are waiting for an apology and a thank you."Wait for the apology and thank you. If he didn't respond appropriately, telll him "Okay, things will be different from now on." From then on, don't give him anything, any gifts or any favors. Let him know that's the consequence of being rude and ungrateful.

marsma90
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 11:13 pm Post subject:

Let me begin by saying don't take it personally. As someone else said, "Aren't all kids this age rude?"Now, let me tell you my story. I have 18 year old twins who graduated this year. We have numerous friends across the country who sent them gifts (i.e., checks). I intercepted the cards with the checks, and they did not get the money until the thank you note was mailed. They (the kids) were mad, but so what. A friend gave them money for Xmas, and they never thanked her. I told them that they would never embarrass me like that again with any of my friends. Sometimes, even when you do your best to teach them, it takes sneaky tricks to get them to do the right thing!!

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