My husband's mother and sisters are so insanely cheap, it is driving me crazy.?
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Pandora
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 4:19 pm Post subject: My husband's mother and sisters are so insanely cheap, it is driving me crazy.? |
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| These people are always asking us to host family birthday parties, Christmas, mother's day, father's day etc etc. My husband always says yes. We have 4 children (5 yo triplets & 13 yo) I have to clean & cook & clean up afterward every time. We always have to serve the best - filet mignon, lobster, best wines etc. They have never helped with the kids; they never buy gifts or cards for anyone; never bring anything to contribute to the event and never help clean up. But they do say "thanks, we had a great time". ARRGGHHH. I would love to be invited somewhere where I can expect the best and don't have to do anything too. Can't expect it from these people. My husband doesn't mind any of this. When I mention it to him, he says I always criticize his family. What we have done is condition them & they will keep expecting this all the time. I really want to (scream)say something to them about their crassy cheapness. Is there a way of saying this to them that won' make them hate me? |
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chinno98
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 4:25 pm Post subject: |
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| I know how you feel, my mother in law is the EXACT same way!! she will never cook for us when we visit and always expects me to do the full thanksgiving/christmas dinners alone... I told my husband that we should go to his moms house next thanksgiving and HE AGREED(I was surprised!)...... I am just going to sit on the couch and be exactly like she is, get a taste of her own medicine. If he insists they come over for dinner, mention that he should cook/clean because you are feeling sick and can't do it.. I gaurantee it will be different after that! |
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Carol C
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 4:27 pm Post subject: |
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| This isn't necessarily being cheap. They are taking advantage of you and your husband. The 2 of you need to have a serious heart to heart discussion concerning his family. It's simply not fair that you are expected to do everything. Is he the only boy? Does your husband make a lot more money? If you 2 can't work this out, it may be time to have a third party help you to see the other's side of things. I would recommend counseling and find out the real reasons why your husband may feel that he "Has" to do all of this for these moochers |
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Cinnamon
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 4:28 pm Post subject: |
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| very simple.........say NO not this year your family's turn..Now or never dear...Maybe hubby is a mamas boy. In that case you picked and married him, sorry |
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Bud Y
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Switch the tables this time around. Invite your family over for this Christmas. You and your husband can plan a great celebration with them. Pull out all the stops. Or, you could go visiting to their place. It sounds like you need a change. |
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franke.soaddictive
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Oh my God, my aunts boyfriend is the same way. He comes over for FREE dinner and sits in the biggest chair, then he sits in my gma's comfy chair and watches animal planet cause he's too cheap to get cable. I'm always thinking of plans to get him away, and i havent been sucessful yet. but I would suggest giving hints (subtle and obvious) that your not happy about what their doing and see what happens. If that doesent make an impact, take matters into your own hands and step up to your husband or his family. |
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thatartistwin
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 4:34 pm Post subject: |
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| They don't sound JUST cheap......they sound unmannerly and rude. Who the hell goes to someones home, demands the best, brings nothing and does not even offer to clean up? If it were me I would not care if they hated me because if they did they would not be worth my time. If your husband does not mind this so much tell HIM to shop, prepare the food and clean up and see how he likes it after that. The next time I was asked to host a family party, I would politely say "Well, I was just hoping that this time I could enjoy it too. I don't mind being a cook and cleaning sometimes but I was wondering if someone else could take on that task sometimes". |
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lunar
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 4:38 pm Post subject: |
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| might be because they don't know how to prepare, cook, or not so confident of their preparations.... i think u have to make a race, after a certain occasion had finished, u had to make a suggestion that the next event would be prepared by ur husband's family.... and jokingly tell them so u will experience how be a guest and not the host...try to plan to assign them one by one....in their own house... u can help them start it by giving some tips how to do it...try to give assistance.... some help, money or gifts... encourage them(if u can)...now, u cannot please everybody, once u have to do that, thank them also and ur husband for the effort....and if in the next time that u really need to rest, don't hesitate to say ur not in good condition to have a party... |
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jean
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:27 am Post subject: |
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| Try to explain to them what you've feel. Then, if it will result for nothing it is the time to say "No". |
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