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Should I email my boyfriend's mother?


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Megan L
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 9:22 am Post subject: Should I email my boyfriend's mother?

In June, I paid a visit to my boyfriend and his family for five days. After sending a thank you letter with gift cards, his mother sent me a note telling me how much they enjoyed my stay. It also contained a contact email address and their home phone number. Should I have email conversations with his mother, or would this cross some type of boundary? I really liked his family and getting to know them, especially his parents, and I feel like this might help me establish some place in his life (our relationship will be long-distance for quite some time), but I don't know if this is good etiquette or not.Updated: I forgot to mention this before, but when I talked to him about it he thought it would be "kinda weird" if she and I were emailing each other...So I probably should hold off, huh?

judith11center
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 9:25 am Post subject:

Just save the contact information until you need it.

klslugger24
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 9:26 am Post subject:

While I am at college I keep email contact with my family as well as my boyfriend's on occasion. His parents are divorced, so I have email addresses for his mom, dad, and stepmom. It was a similar situation, after I took a trip with him to visit his dad and stepmom. I think it is perfectly acceptable to communicate with them.

oldernwiser
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 9:29 am Post subject:

What a nice way to say they enjoyed your company! You must have made a very good impression. I don't see anything wrong with you emailing his mom, in fact, I think it sounds really nice.BUT, I would clear it with your boyfriend FIRST. I have a regular, ongoing relationship with my BF's mom, but checked with him first before did anything. He was fine with it, but I would not have wanted to surprise him with it.Oh, I would avoid sending jokes and other mass mailings. A lot of people find those really irritating.

conpejack
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 9:32 am Post subject:

Just send her an e-mail acknowledging that you got the information. It is fine to communicate via e-mail, just keep it confined to small talk. Allow you BF to give any information about what you two have been doing in you life. He needs to keep her informed about your life together, not you.

Betty
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 9:33 am Post subject:

If she gave you her contact info, she is obviously open to you contacting her. If you are worried about crossing any boundaries, I would ask your boyfriend if he is okay with it. Sounds like a nice family, you got lucky

Jh
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 9:36 am Post subject:

It was nice of her to reply. I would only contact her for specific reasons, like scheduling another visit. Do not contact her for the purpose of getting closer to her son.

ROWENA K
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 9:55 am Post subject:

Yes, you can email your boyfriend's mother if she initiate the email. But don't send her email for the hopes of helping you establish some place in your boyfriends life. You have to build your relationship with your boyfriend and when your married build the relationship with them.

tracy
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 9:57 am Post subject:

Yeah -- you might not want to start any kind of correspondence with your boyfriend's mother right now. In the future, if your relationship blossoms, then by all means email to your heart's content!

Tammi B
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:27 am Post subject:

If he took you to see his parents for five days then you must mean something to him. I dont see anything wrong with emailing her, if there was a boundarie to be crossed then he wouldnt have brought you there. I waiting a couple weeks then shooting an email to say hi and ask how she is, is fine. If she didnt want to hear from you she would not have given you the info. Plus, a guy loves his girl to be close to the mother just dont go overboard and call all the time. Send a short email wait for a response and respond back a few days after she responds. You are an important part in his life, he proved that by taking you home. His famil is also an important part in his life, why shouldnt the two connect.

Vera Gabriele
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:35 am Post subject:

It is a great idea.. however as he will not be there.. going away you don't know how you and he.. will romantically develop and if the long distance will survive your love in any case you should discuss this with him.. you can tell him all you said here and that you really like them and ask his opinion.. if he really cares about you.. he should not be against you forming a bond with his family.. but I would definitely not do this behind his back... he may go and come back as much in love with you as before.. but you don't know fate..you might fall in love with someone else or he might.. then it would be kind of awkward.. . for the family and for you.. if you get on such close terms and the relationship has no future.. one cannot know I hope you both have a future but one has to take all eventualities into consideration.. .xxx

Its me again
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:52 am Post subject:

calling is much more personal. however, you can send her forwards when your sending it to your friends, i keep in touch with my boyfriends step mother that way, and she usually emails me back telling me she enjoyed reading them.

Serendipity
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 1:45 pm Post subject:

Communicate with his mom, but only occasionally.He doesn’t need to know all the specific details, but DO NOT hide it from him.Keep in touch with her, nicely, yet formally or a better word… infrequently.

Angel W
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 3:20 pm Post subject:

start by fwding funny things u come across...

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