what do you think of my story so far?

minus-eiley · Yahoo User

My name is Annabelle. Annabelle Snow Barker. My middle name is pretty ironic, I think, because I am one of the whitest people I’ve ever seen. My hair, also white, is long, a little past my shoulders. I am thin, slender, but not athletic. Although I have been called attractive, I still think otherwise. It was a beautiful autumn day in Sacramento. Of course in California, the leaves don’t change color, but it was still nice. The sky was a perfect shade of blue, with just the right amount of white, fluffy clouds floating aimlessly around. It was warm, but not hot. I was wearing a pair of jeans, and a white tank top, and I was perfectly comfortable, temperature wise, though not in other ways. I look at my reflection and all of the beautiful scenery that comes with Sacramento pass by me in a blur. I see my neighbourhood fading into nothing, and I see other cars pass us by on the highway. I look at the palm trees, and the ocean in the distance. I’ll really miss this, I think to myself.“Mom, do I have to go?” I ask“Honey, this will be good for you. Your therapist says a change in scenery will help”I ignore her. Mothers always think they know best, when they don’t. First she sends me to a shrink, then sends me away to boarding school. A boarding school, where I will be spending the whole year. A boarding school, where I will be away from my friends back in Sacramento. A boarding school where I won’t know anyone at all.“Mom turn the car around.” “Annabelle, you‘re going. It‘s too late now. And don’t talk to me that way please. ”she says in a strict voice.“Mom please. I can’t go. I can’t leave everything behind. I need to stay here with my friends. Do you really think going away is going to help me? Please let me stay.” I beg.I look at her. She’s not even giving it a second thought. I can tell. “I’ve tried everything. Meds, therapy, everything in the books. Getting away will probably be the best thing for you at this point. Please give it a try.”Hmm. I guess I am a bit difficult at times. I’m ashamed. But that’s no excuse for sending me off like this. But I do feel a little bad for my mom. She’s a good person, she just hides it. It must be hard for her though, especially since my dad left. Sometimes I doubt he‘s ever coming back. Mom says he will, but she’s probably just saying that to make me feel better about him abandoning us. Mom says we’re doing fine without him anyways, and if he doesn’t come back, we’ll be okay. I don’t care. I still miss him, and I know she does too. We haven‘t seen him or spoken to him in about eight months now. He just left one day, out of the blue. But I guess if we had paid more attention, we would have seen it coming. Him and my mom used to fight like cats and dogs. I don’t seen the point in getting married if all you’re going to do is argue. But I guess it wasn’t my decision to make.I worry about my Mom sometimes. She’s not used to being alone. Especially in a big, empty house. At least she’ll have my younger sister, Amber to keep her busy when I’m gone. She’s only three years old, and still requires a lot of care, attention and time. I also have an older brother, his name is Austin. He is 17 and goes to the same school I’m going to. The only difference, is that he got a scholarship and he goes there by choice. Unlike me.I ignore my mom again. Mainly because I know that no matter what absurd, or even valid excuse I come up with, I’m still going, and there is simply nothing I can do about that.I stayed up all last night plotting ways of getting out of this. Of course I have nothing. We stop in front of the airport and mom pops the trunk. She looks a lot like me, except older. I can imagine myself growing up to look just like her. That is one of my biggest fears-growing up to be my mother. I grab my brand new Gucci suitcase, one of the many expensive gifts my mother bought me as a going away gift. Another failed attempt to brighten up this situation. I grab another bag, my carry on. It matches my suitcase. My mom gets out of the car and grabs another suitcase and bag. It looks like she’s going to walk me into the airport. She’s full of surprises. We open the doors to the airport and walk inside. This is the most nervous I’ve been about this whole situation so far. I’m afraid of heights, I’m afraid of small spaces and I’m a afraid of strangers. To sum it up, I’m afraid of airplanes. I inhale a deep breath, hold it, then let it go. We finally find our way through the airport and she takes me as far as she’s allowed to. We stand there, looking at each other silently for a while. I was hoping that if I looked long enough in her eyes, she would show some sympathy and maybe take me back home. Instead, I see a tear build up. then fall down her cheek leaving a trail of moisture behind it. I should have seen that one coming. So I hug her. No matter how angry I am at my mom, when I see her cry I automatically feel terrible all over. I try to release the hug, but she keeps a tight grip. She holds this particular hug longer than a regular one. I hate goodbye hugs. When she finally lets go, she looks at me, her eyes still full of tears. “I’m going to miss you so much Annie, and I’m so sorry for sending you off like this. I really think it’s the best thing for you right now. The therapist didn’t help, the medication didn’t help. Hopefully this will. I know you’re going through a hard time right now. And I know its not just the school, but your father, and Jessica-”She stopped immediately. “I’m so sorry.”Jessica Allen was my best friend since I was about three weeks old. She lived right beside me my whole life. Our parents were all best friends. We did everything together, all of the time. We were inseparable. She’s gone now. And she isn’t coming back.“Mom, it’s alright. But I have to go now. I’ll miss my flight.” I was trying to hold back the tears, and she could hear it in my voice.She hugged my goodbye. This hug, thankfully, was shorter than the first one.“be sure to call, or write, or whatever you kids do now” she said with a smile, ending the hug.“I will mom, don’t worry.”“Okay. Goodbye baby. I love you so much” she hugged me again, kissing me on the cheek too. but this time it was quick.“love you too Mom, goodbye.” I walked away slowly, dragging my heavy suitcase behind me. I had a couple of carry-on bags on my shoulders. I didn’t look back at her, because that would just make it harder for the both of us.i know its pretty flawed. but hopefully your constructive critism will help Very Happy