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Do I give a shower gift AND a wedding gift?

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Author Message Laura R Yahoo User Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 6:32 pm    Post subject: Do I give a shower gift AND a wedding gift? If I sent a shower gift to a wedding shower that I couldnt attend am I suppose to also give another gift at the wedding? Is the shower gift the same as the wedding gift or am I suppose to be giving two gifts to the couple?The shower was a wedding shower for both the bride and groom and everyone bought them things off their registry so it was not just for the bride. I spent over $100 for the shower gift. Why did they invite me to the shower when it was being held 3000 miles away from where I live. I felt like they were obligating me to send a gift even though I planned on sending only a wedding gift.these answers are interesting bc when I got married 2 years ago I didnt get anything close to these answers as gifts. We had a lot of people not give us anything at all! including one of the brides maids so ultimately I think a gift is exactly that....a gift! and the value of a spatula over our attendance is absolutely rediculous. Nothing screams send a gift like inviting you to an event you most certaintly will not be attending. That's just rude. Back to top Marianne T Yahoo User Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 6:36 pm    Post subject: Yes, two gifts. It won't kill you and besides they probably are your good friends. Otherwise, if they are not your good friends, you can always share the cost of a gift with someone else going to the wedding. Another girl like yourself would work. Back to top BossLady Yahoo User Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 6:36 pm    Post subject: If you can afford it, yes, do both Back to top Boricua Yahoo User Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 6:38 pm    Post subject: well they are two different events Back to top JLM Yahoo User Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 6:40 pm    Post subject: The shower gift tends to be a less expensive gift then the wedding. But to answer your question yes you give a gift for both. Back to top Jen Yahoo User Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 6:41 pm    Post subject: You are expected to a give a gift as both. The shower gifts are for the bride entering HER new life as a wife. The wedding gift is for THEM entering a united life. The shower gift is simply for her whereas the wedding gift is for both of them. Back to top leelee Yahoo User Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 6:42 pm    Post subject: Two gifts...I usually give something special for the bride only for the shower, like a manicure or spa treatment gift card and then something from the registered area for the wedding. Doesn't seem right to have both does it? Back to top Lucy Yahoo User Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 6:42 pm    Post subject: The shower and wedding gifts are not the same, and, believe it or not, it's the wedding gift, not the shower gift that is optional! You don't have to give another gift, it is completely up to you, though it would be a nice gesture. Most couples will just be pleased that you attended and shared their special day with them! Back to top okara Yahoo User Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 6:44 pm    Post subject: There are no requirements, but typically people give a shower gift if they were invited to the shower and a wedding gift for the wedding. If the shower was a bridal shower, those gifts are often geared more to just the bride. The wedding gifts are geared more to the couple, unless you are closer to one of the couple and want to give something that would be more for them. (My husband is known to be the bar-be-quer and received the bar-be-que set). Hope this helps! Back to top Pooh Bear Yahoo User Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 6:46 pm    Post subject: Yes but the type of gift is different for both..The shower gift is a more personal gift to the bride to be it can be something off their registry but a gift card works too.The Wedding gift is a more personal gift to the Happy Couple together...that again is off their registry...Good luck Back to top pspoptart Yahoo User Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 7:38 pm    Post subject: In theory it is two diff. gifts. The shower gift was supposed to be the small gift for just the bride and the big gift from the registry was the wedding gift. I dont understand why they invited you to the shower way before the wedding if you are 3k miles away. Its fine if you don't give the wedding gift. Just give them a card, put like 20 in if you want, and put a note saying something like "hope you enjoyed my blender, love blah". Gifts should always be what you can afford and if you got it a little backwards on the order so what, people send early wedding gifts all the time and nobody expects them to bring another. Or at least they shouldn't. I gave my friend's gift early because I wouldn't be there to give it to her on wedding day. I don't remember anyone saying I should have gotten another. Besides, nobody knows how much is in the card and if the bride actually calls you up and throws a fit remind her of your early gift and tell her to stop being greedy. Back to top ih8jocks1692 Yahoo User Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 9:38 pm    Post subject: I think that it was very appropriate for you to send a gift for the shower because you did not attend. However if you are attending the wedding personally with travel expenses i would assume the newlyweds would not expect money but your presence to be enough! If you do not attend i would send them another gift. Back to top angeldust_599 Yahoo User Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 11:20 pm    Post subject: I sure as heck wouldnt. 1 gift is enough for a wedding. some people dont even give a gift so I would under no circumstances give another gift. any couple who would expect another gift is being greedy. Back to top Unknown Yahoo User Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 1:11 am    Post subject: yes you give 2 gifts. Typically at the wedding shower you give an actual gift that you had to wrap. (something they registered for). At the wedding you give a card in an envelope with money (a check) for 100 dollars or more. Whatever you can afford.Or you give 2 wrapped gifts at both the wedding shower and wedding.Buy something the couple registered for, for both gifts. If they didnt register ask them or their friends or parents what they need or want. Or if you know them well get them what you think they need. Get useful gifts such as a blender, bed sheet sets, toaster over, microwave, vaccum, etc. Back to top Lydia Yahoo User Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 6:17 am    Post subject: Yes, you do. The wedding gift is usually a more substantial one than the shower gift. You wouldn't have been obligated to get a shower gift, since you couldn't or wouldn't attend. But a wedding gift would be. Back to top

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