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ZINELLI
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:31 pm Post subject: Giving a gift. Am I doing the right thing or am I wrong? |
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| I ment a girl about a year ago and was very impressed by her hard work, charm and her drive to get an education and get ahead in life. Being much too old for her I started giving her $10.00 tips once or twice a week and gave her some money for her birthday, just trying to help her out since she was trying so hard to make it. She always thanks me and says she appreicates it .She has a girl 3 years old and a boy friend who also works hard to get ahead. I gave them a lawn mower and her some books to help with her schooling .They don't drink or do drugs and stay home most all the time. Her birthday is coming up and I bought her a $50.00 gift certificate for cloths and another friend of mine (a girl ) says I shouldn't give it to her and that I should probably leave her alone. I respect her and her boy friend and wish them the very best and hopefully a long and successfull life together. Am I wrong in giving her a birthday gift? |
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yaktur
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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| You sound like a nice guy, so as long as the gift is appropriate for a young lady such as her (maybe a gift she and her small family can all enjoy, maybe a gift certificate to a restaurant), there shouldn't be any trouble.Meet her bf and make it clear to him as well. |
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Maria
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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| If you're friends, no. If not, it's a little weird. She doesn't need your pity, and it sounds a little like you're trying to buy her affections. I would give the gifts a rest before she gets used to it and takes advantage. |
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Barb Outhere
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:37 pm Post subject: |
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| If the only motivation is to give a young person, who is trying hard to get it right, a helping hand then there is no problem at all, as long as ALL parties understand that. |
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kny390
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:38 pm Post subject: |
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| It sounds like she is a wait tress at a restaurant that you frequent. Friendships can develop regardless of age and you know by her reaction if she is only taking the gifts to be polite or really appreciates your generosity. However, $50 is probably pushing the envelope and may make her feel uncomfortable - try $25 gift certificate instead and watch her reaction to see if you should continue with gift giving. |
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TrIcK3DoUT
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:39 pm Post subject: |
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| You sound pretty pure hearted about it so, it is fine i think! :] When you give it to her say i just wanna wish u a happy bday and i wish u n your hubby the best life possible, i hope this helps....so u sound really nice!! The world needs people like you! |
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Jeska
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:40 pm Post subject: |
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| No. As long as she hasn't said anything hinting that she doesn't want the gifts, what you're doing is very nice. It sounds like she very much appriciates what you've done for her, and since you're only giving her useful, practical things (nothing like jewlery, then her boyfriend might get the wrong idea), I think what you're doing is just fine and admirable. |
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deedub80
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:40 pm Post subject: |
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| You should not give her the money. Regardless of how much you want to help, you are undermining their ability, as a couple, to make their own way. At the very least you will probably make him jealous of you, while at the same time causing her to be disappointed in him??? Best to help someone who really needs help...homeless, hungry, sick...etc.Just my 2 pence. |
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baby blue
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:43 pm Post subject: |
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| Honestly i don't think so. that has to be the most beautiful thing I've seen in a long time. So long as your intention's are right (and only you know if they are) that's a wonderful thing that your doing. That could very well be the one thing that could restore someones faith in humanity. and since you do put emphasis on the fact that you respect her AND her Boy friend i don't see a problem. now if you ask me i would consider getting him a little something as well just to be on the safe side. But if your still loosing sleep over this (and i would sleep on it ) try to do something for the both of them say get them reservations for two at a nice restaurant. |
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Lori
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:47 pm Post subject: |
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Listen to your friend. It's nice of you to care and give gifts but to an extent. They are not your friends or your responsibilty. Use the $50.00 gift certificate on your real caring friend instead.  |
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hellenwashington
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 8:54 pm Post subject: |
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| OH, no, I think you'd better not to do that. You will let them have a feeling like accepting benefaction. By the way, you are a kind person. |
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