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basketcase88
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:34 pm Post subject: |
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| I would be grateful that I have parents who are alive to be at my wedding, regardless of what they gave me. That's what I would do. Since you're both in your 30's, your parents are under no obligation whatsoever to give you anything. However, that is a little sad that they aren't making a bigger deal of this. Are your parents upset that you're marrying someone who has been married before? Just remember, it's your marriage that's important, not the wedding day! That's just one day, your marriage is the rest of your life. Congrats and good luck! |
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from_a_dark_place
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Both sets of parents are cheap. You should be insulted. My parents helped pay for my wedding and they are dirt poor. My in-laws paid for the rehearsal dinner and the booze at the wedding. And both sets of parents bought us really expensive gifts from our registry. Maybe the two of you should just run off and get married under a waterfall in Hawaii or something. To hell with your family. Spend the money on yourselves. |
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alison
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:34 pm Post subject: |
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Your parents definitely have issues. One of them may be financial irresponsibility. Just because you believe they SHOULD have some accumulated wealth, doesn't mean they do. They may be telling you you're out of the will to save face over the fact that they have little or nothing to leave anyone. As for their cheapness, YES, they are definitely cheaping out on your wedding. Don't be surprised if the gift gets loads of discussion, but is never actually given to you.I know it's next to impossible, but try not to take it personally. They've clearly got some sort of personality defect where money and/or you are concerned. Only they could tell you their rationale, if they even have one. Personally, I'd avoid the whole topic and focus on your day, depending only on yourselves. CONGRATULATIONS and have a WONDERFUL DAY!!!  |
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Hydee
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Congrats on your wedding! That really sucks. Honestly, I wouldn't want anything from them if they were acting like that. You don't deserve that kind of treatment, yeah you are older but this is your first wedding and they are your parents and should offer up something. With that attitude from them...I wouldn't even want them to give me pots and pans...I would just tell them not to bother! |
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KH
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:35 pm Post subject: |
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| You are wrong this is your wedding despite what some traditions do this is still YOUR WEDDING. Your parents are not obligated to do any of the things that you have wrote about. Now I do agree that if they are going to give you a gift it can't have conditions on it, it should not matter what you guys spend the money on. But as far as the will if they left everything to a grandchild then that's either your niece or nephew so whats the problem they are right they do not owe you anything they have done their duties as parents and plus I haven't heard of any laws that say parents are supposed to pay for their children's weddings. And another thing if you are mad at your parents then I guess your wife is pissed at hers because I thought the brides parents are supposed to pay for the wedding. Grow Up |
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lady31
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Congrats to you on your special day.Your parents told you years ago that they don't owe you anything, so why would you expect them to pay for the wedding or dinner?This is YOUR day and you are both ADULTS. Enjoy your day and your honeymoon and just know that you are on your own and this is the first day that you will stand as one. |
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poker_fan_in_nyc
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Wow where to start...Besides being insulted by their cheapness (trust me I understand what it is like growing up middle class...we were not poor but closer to that end than rich anyhow...)...I also find it funny that the only thing he offered at first was the bar bill (so he could drink of course)...I understand your mother's comment about wanting to give you a gift instead of cash because I have heard the same thing from my mother LOL...so I would just ignore that and accept whatever gift she gives you...I wouldn't be that insulted by that one...You comment that they left everything to their grandkid (I assume it is your sister's?) and nothing to you or her because they don't owe you anything is just so hurtful...I have a lot more to say about this but I am at work so I will finish this later but I would say to never go out of your way for your parents, they don't deserve any kindness from you |
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SecretAgt1
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:42 pm Post subject: |
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| First of all Congrats!Secondly...don't ever expect a parent to owe you anything or give you an inheritance.They raised you and you got an education and never went underfed. They done the best they could with what they have.Thirdly ...They are your parents and it is not uncommon for them to want to buy a gift and wrap it as apposed to money which would come in handy.You created your own debts and should not be upset or think that your parents are cheap for not giving you money.Maybe they see that you are not a good money manager.You and your sister should not have seen the "will". After all you parents spent plenty raising you and want to give to the grandchildren what little they have left for help them with their education in the future.Life is getting harder and costing more and they know it.They more than likely had to scrape and sacrifice things in order to save anything.Until you have children of your own you will not know what goes into raising them.Please ..don't draw a conclusion on the cheapness of mom and dad till you walk in their shoes. |
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Sir Richard
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:46 pm Post subject: |
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| That's correct. You are misguided!! Not very but misguided nevertheless.Your parents don't owe you anything. They have fulfilled their duty by raising you to adult age. The rest is "gravy". These days, the medical bills of retirees are potentially huge so they have to look out for themselves down the road as well.What happens to you is that, according to what you wrote, you have debts and not enough money. And you and your wife to be are in your 30s, meaning with 10+ years of working. So your financial management (and hers) is not good. Yet, you expected to have an extravagant wedding via family help. It is their money and they didn't want to blow their hard earned money on an event. They are setting an example for you. At least you settled with a low budget event instead of borrowing more against the credit cards.Your mother is practical. She offers to get you an item that you can use in the house. Your parents are not "cheap" in the insulting sense. They are frugal with their money and you are not.Your parents' will is to leave whatever is left for their grandchildren (biological). That is common that they skip one generation so the money can be there for the kids to grow up to 18 and for their education use. They see that you (not sure about your sister) are living beyond your means and this is a clear message to you. Shame on you to feel insulted by your parents.A real question is for you to look inward and deep. You need to operate in the black, not further in the red, after the marriage. That is a mature thing to do for you and your wife. |
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bestadvicechick
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:48 pm Post subject: |
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| At 34, you should NOT expect your parents to pay for your wedding, reception or otherwise. You are an ADULT and that means standing on your own 2 feet. Your parents don't owe you anything. Still, I think they sound rather rude at the very least. It was rude for your mother to say "i'm afraid you'll just use the money on credit card bills." She may have THOUGHT that but it was rude for her to say. She could've just been nice and given you a gift. To me, I think a gift around $300-400 would be appropriate for your son getting married. I think it's rather odd that your parents have both chosen to leave you and your sister out of the will. They must think you both are total F**ck ups when it comes to money and they don't want you wasting all their hard earned money. |
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phorwanted
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:57 pm Post subject: |
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| My son was the red headed step child and was taught to never expect anything in life that needed delivery from anyone other than him.Your parents gave you life and raised you to adulthood beyond that anything else they give is gravy. It's called a "wedding" and not a "wedding, paid for and a gift". |
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bill d
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 3:12 pm Post subject: |
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| well thats more than i'd give ya, they don't owe you a thing |
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j.r.
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 6:01 pm Post subject: |
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| dude you are in your thirties!!!! pay for your own damn weddding and leave your poor parents alone!! |
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