Why do people give cheap wedding gift???
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drruth
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:24 am Post subject: |
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| You have to remember that when you ask a question like the one that you asked in a forum with people from all over, you are going to get answers telling you that you are selfish. A lot of people are used to going to weddings at fire halls with homemade food. Myself, I am used to weddings at hotels where you pay atleast $75/pp. So, I understand what you are saying when you don't think that $20 is an appropriate gift. Not everyone is the same, not everyone is from the same background or from the same part of the country. My husband is from NYC. His family and friends (also from NYC) gave us gifts of $300-400. I was suprised, but that is what they do in that part of the country. I am from Pennsylvania and the standard gift from most of my family and friends (from PA) was $100-200. When you ask a question like this to such a wide variety of people, you are going to get a few slams with people telling you that you are selfish. It doesn't mean that you have to change your beliefs or feelings, but now you know how others feel. |
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s_chess1
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:39 am Post subject: |
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| i don't know how much you should expect. i personally won't buy anything for anybody unless it's "screaming" their name at me. for a wedding gift i will think about the couple, have they mentioned something they want or need (a dinner at a different place or if they said they wanted a massage or something they wouldn't buy for themselves). a lot of people go off of a registry which is always helpful. i understand spending a lot of money on a wedding and wanting to feel appreciated for doing so much, but it really is the thought behind it. but i think you are right with it being a place to start the couple off but that's why many young couples register for mix-masters, towel, sheets, and household stuff."Is there a formula for figuring out how much to spend on a wedding gift? Yes – the amount spent on the gift should be based on your affection for and relationship with the couple – or their families – as well as your budget. People sometimes say that a wedding gift should cost at least as much as the bride and groom are spending on entertaining each person at the reception, but that is a myth"Etiquette and Advice from the Emily Post Institutegood luck |
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Kristin P
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:47 am Post subject: |
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| Your wedding is your wedding. What you do is your own decision. I would not be expecting people to "pay you back" for the money YOU spent on YOUR wedding. I am getting married 09-08-07 and I am paying $18 a head for food alone. This is still slightly pricey, for me at least, and I am still having it catered in. We are having it in a beautiful museum which has a gorgeous outside garden area ($1600 for museum, this includes tables and chairs for outside and inside, they clean up and set up, plus we get $400 back if we leave it decent)Here is the thing to remember, this day is for you and your future husband. NO ONE ELSE! If I were you, I would not be worrying about what your guests are going to bring you for a wedding gift, it should be the last thing on your mind. If you are worried you will not receive enough money to pay off the wedding, maybe you should have budgeted better. |
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Darlene mouse
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:50 am Post subject: |
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| First of all, if you have $35,000.00 to spend on your wedding, apparently you're in a good financal position. You should not expect people to "help pay" for your wedding. You really need to change your attitude and not think less of people because they are giving you a "cheap gift". Maybe if you looked at their circumstances, they may not be able to afford more than a $20.00 gift. Guests should not be expected to cover their meal and drinks at a wedding. You don't have a wedding reception to have people help you start off your married life. You have the reception to celebrate your marriage and get together with people you love and want to share your special day with. If you're so concerned about the cost, you should have had it somewhere that charges less than $230.00 per person. That's a lot of money!!! A gift is exactly that, a "gift" given from someone's heart, not something you should place an amount on. I feel sorry for the guests at your reception, since you probably will think less of them after your gifts are opened and you see that not all of them could give you what you expected. I really feel sorry for you for looking at your wedding as a cash making adventure. |
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Curious
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 10:22 am Post subject: |
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| Maybe that's all they can afford you don't know people's financial situations, just be thank you for what you get nice or not |
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Sissy
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 10:26 am Post subject: |
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| Sounds like you're pissed with the guests, even before they have arrived for your big day!Girl, do the honorable thing for all those involved--keep your $35,000 and elope. |
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