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gift giving etiquette for children?


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cutie_ellie
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:20 pm Post subject: gift giving etiquette for children?

We hosted our child's birthday party the other day. And, we had this incident. One of the invitees showed up later of that day, and dropped off the gift for our child, but, the value of the gift was too generous.($40.00 gift certificate from one of the major toy store, and toy valued more than $10.00) They did not attend the party at all, and we asked this person not to bring the gift since the person wasn't planning on attending. So, we ended up returning the gift to this person. But, I was just wondering who is more rude?Me by not accepting the gift, or the person who insisted on the gift?This gift giver is just an acquaintance. My 6 years old son doesn't know her very well. Also, for some reason she wanted to change around our schedule for the party since the time we set for the party wasn't really good time for her. when she showed up to drop off the gift, we set it away from my son. So, he doesn't know the fact she got him some thing. Also, we tried to return the gift to her with the reason why we couldn't accept them, but, she refused, so, we ended up paying her back.

doug0102
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:27 pm Post subject:

Maybe they just COULD NOT attend, but wanted to be nice? By not accepting their gift, you basically told them: "Since you didn't attend the party, we do not want anything from you."

JoAnn M
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:28 pm Post subject:

I don't think that either one of you were rude. I think that you were actually both being very polite. The other person for at least getting a gift for the birthday child. I don't know what I would do in your shoes, but if I thought the gift was too generous, depending on who sent the gift, I would probably return it too.

m0echtegern
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:31 pm Post subject:

Sorry, but in my opinion you were more rude. Insisting on giving a gift is kind and generous, while returning one to the giver is rejecting their generosity.

heartzablaze215
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:33 pm Post subject:

Definitely you. That person was trying to give a gift to show celebration for the child's birthday. They also may have given a more expensive gift to make up for having to miss the party if they were not able to attendThe correct thing to do would have been so thank them kindly and say that you appreciate it, but the gift was too much. Then, use the gift card to purchase something that both the gift giver (I assume it was a child and their parent(s)) and the birthday child could enjoy. An example being a board game. If an adult family member or family friend gave the generous gift, offer to pay for lunch if you go outwith that adult sometime. The child could also have given a thank you note. (The age of the child was not mentioned so they may be to small for that, I don't know)Now that you have returned the gift to the person, what are they going to do with it? They now have an non refundable gift card and another toy. Plus, the birthday child is probably feeling sad that their gift was taken away.

Crisseye
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:36 pm Post subject:

i think that even thought the gift may have been generous, the person actually giving the gift was nice, and returning it might have been a little rude. (or maybe even hurt that person's feelings?) to gift a gift with good intentions isn't usually a bad thing. good luck with everything.

Ms. Carisa
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:38 pm Post subject:

Oh, dear, you were definitely the rude party. How are you going to pull yourself out of that faux-pas? A gift is given because the giver wants to give it. Always accept politely and graciously. I really can't even tell you how to save face on this one. Ouch.

Michele
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:46 pm Post subject:

Well, it is rude to mention a gift in the first place because that implies expectation, which is in conflict with gift giving. Then you went and returned it to them, which was bad. I think you outdid them in the misstep department 2:1.

Luna Lovegood
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:59 pm Post subject:

The gift giver. You were polite and to do that was not an insult. You yourself can give your kids expensive gifts but a family friend in this case it would not be appropriate

Jai
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 11:00 pm Post subject:

You were rude for not accepting the gift. Next time just say thank you and leave it at that.

Minerva
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 12:38 am Post subject:

sorry, but you are the rude one. a person gives a gift because they want to, not because they have to. you asking them not to bring a gift showed them that they did not have to, so the fact that they gave one anyway was because they wanted to give your child a gift. i would possibly understand if the gift was valued at a few hundred bucks or something, but $50 aint that much.

berry
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:57 am Post subject:

It's nice that you returned the gift. If they insist you keep it, then keep it.

kittywhite92630
Yahoo User

Posted: Sat Aug 04, 2007 12:13 pm Post subject:

If you want to know who was more rude - it was you. However, you were both wrong. Your acquaintance should have respected your wishes, while you should have been gracious in accepting the gift for your child since they insisted and did make a special trip to drop it off. What harm was there in letting your child keep the gift?

audrey_d
Yahoo User

Posted: Sat Aug 04, 2007 10:09 pm Post subject:

I believe you should have accepted the gift gracefully and not kept it away from your son, I'm sure he doesn't know the value of money, you could have spoken to the other mother later, thanking her profusely for her generosity. while also explaining you didn't expect her to give your child such a large gift. You have probably offended her now, and it's up to you to put things right.Invite her and he child over for refreshments and maybe some left over birthday cake. and let the children play together.

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