	Gift Search:

FAQ

Is it greedy to be upset family members did not buy us a wedding gift ?

Goto page Previous 1, 2
	Gift Discussion Home -> Wedding

Author

Message

bestadvicechick
Yahoo User

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 4:48 pm Post subject:

I would certainly be hurt as well. That was EXTREMELY rude of them. I went through a similar situation. When I got married, my brother and his family did not get us a wedding gift. His 2 boys were even ring bearers and my brother was an usher. They had to come from Ohio for the wedding - a 5 hour drive. They stayed with family so they had no hotel costs and the food costs were minimal....probably just what they spent while on the road driving. It turns out, my brother felt like him spending money on the tuxedos and his presence was gift enough. I was very hurt and really embarrassed really.....I mean, how does that reflect on my family to my new husband to be welcomed that way? I talked about it with my brother and he apologized. It still boggles my mind that they could think it was ok to do that. Since it's not YOUR family member, you need to just find a way to get over it. But when it comes time for their b'day, I'm not sure I'd get them anything!!!

abc
Yahoo User

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:21 pm Post subject:

yes it is greedy.....what message did it send, that they didn't have the money to spend on a wedding gift...???

bluegirl6
Yahoo User

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:25 pm Post subject:

No of course you are not being greedy. And dont listen to all the people who are saying you are.It is not the actual gift that you are upset about it is the lack of sentiment. And I think they were very rude to not give a gift. Everyone knows that you are not OBLIGATED to bring along a gift to a wedding. But honestly, what well mannered person doesnt?I too would be hurt that they could not be bothered to spend the time and effort to at least give a token to show they care and are wishing you well in your future. These are close family members after all.You are at least honest enough with yourself to admit that it hurt you and quite right you are.Just dont fall into the trap of expecting people to give gifts to the value of the reception meal, because that is not how it works. I do believe that it is good manners for them to at least give you a nice gift tho, it is a nice way of wishing a couple luck and happiness in their future together.And also, dont forget that etiquette does give people up to a year to give you a wedding gift. So dont completely write them off if I were you.I would however, maybe make a point out of making your mother in law aware in some kind of subtle way, that they did not give a gift. I am sure she would be disappointed in her family.Good luck with your future together

MommaBear
Yahoo User

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:26 pm Post subject:

Yes, it seems a little greedy. Get over it. Your guests aren't giving you a gift as a "ticket" to your reception. You're the one that chose to spend $100 per person, not them. On the other hand, maybe they are waiting until after the wedding to see what you need? Or maybe they sent a gift and the store lost it? There are lots of reasons -- don't necessarily assume they are trying to 'send you a message'. Unfortunately, you aren't able to ask "gee, I didn't get a gift from you," without sounding like a golddigger. About the best you can do is, at the next family gathering, is to mention that you "finally got all your thank you notes finished! What a chore!" and see if they say anything, like, "Oh? We didn't get one." Either they'll say something to your mother-in-law and it will get back to you, circuitously, or they really just didn't give a gift.

Luv2Answer
Yahoo User

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:42 pm Post subject:

Are you certain? Is it possible they gave a card with money in it and it was stolen or lost. My friend never sent us a thank you note for our check and we later learned when it never cleared the bank that she never got it. She later learned that up to 10 gifts were stolen or misplaced at the reception.

lady31
Yahoo User

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:45 pm Post subject:

They did not ask you to spend $100 per person at your wedding, nor did they ask you to invite them.They made time out of their schedule to spend the day with you to help you to celebrate your marriage.Yes, you are greedy for even keeping up with who bought you a gift and who did not.

its about time
Yahoo User

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:56 pm Post subject:

Well, while it is expected that you get a gift, to be upset with someone isn't exactly saying much of you...but it doesn't say much of them either. I'd be disappointed, but there isn't really anything you can do about it, so just move on I suppose.

Taylor V
Yahoo User

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:59 pm Post subject:

It is rude. Even a card would have been nice. I had my aunt not get me and my ex-husband a wedding gift at our wedding and not even a card or sending a boquet of flowers. You are not being selfish, they were being cheap. I think that you put a lot into that wedding and you deserve atleast a card! That's like going to a birthday party and not even bringing a card for the birthday person! I hate people that do that. I'm sorry that happened.

Kimberly
Yahoo User

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:17 pm Post subject:

What I'd REALLY like to know is why all these couples (women especially) feel they are OWED gift for their choice in throwing a bash."I demand money!""They should just bring an envelope!""They didn't give ME a gift!""I spent ALLLL this money on their dinner."Wah, wah, wah. ME, ME, ME. GROW UP! You are not owed a gift and it's likely they sensed your greediness. I say good for them in not giving you anything. You seem like a selfish, whiny, spoiled BRAT. There are so many people far more deserving of a special gift than you or any of these other greedy, materialistic witches are.A wedding is about celebrating your big day with your husband to be, your family, and your friends. It is NOT about how much money you spend or the gifts people give out of love and kindness. You're in for a very hard life if you continue to think the world owes you something.

the Goddess Angel
Yahoo User

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:23 pm Post subject:

If that is the reason you are upset, yes.

newmom
Yahoo User

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:34 pm Post subject:

I would be annoyed too.While you are not supposed to expect a gift, a card would have at least been nice and it was extremely rude not to send one

lucy
Yahoo User

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 7:29 pm Post subject:

Well maybe the guests are not as close as you think. You might look at it as, those people may not know what to buy for you and may at a later date to something else special for you.

emgeealex
Yahoo User

Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 9:59 pm Post subject:

You have a lot of growing up to do, Bridezilla.

Femme
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 2:22 am Post subject:

It's normal that you get upset with people that you invited and all the expenses that you had and they didn't consider that. But don't get your anger to affect your relationship with them. Let it go. I will not call it greedy, just angry but that will pass. Don't remind them and acts like if nothing happened.

Lydia
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 6:58 am Post subject:

Pretty much! Guests to a wedding are NOT required to bring a gift, however most do. Hopefully, that's not the reason you truly invited people. It should not matter how much you spent for the reception - you HOSTED guests, and should not have had the expectation of gifts from everyone. The goal of hosting a wedding is to have your guests witness your vows and celebrate with you. Period.You're married now, and have to get to the next level of maturity. Let it go.

	Gift Discussion Home -> Wedding	All times are GMT - 6 Hours Goto page Previous 1, 2
Page 2 of 2

Source: